Men don't talk about feelings! Right? Men don't acknowledge feeling pain or the emptiness that most people feel after a break up. Right?
Well fuck all of that. I'm definitely alpha male and I don't really care what society says about how/what I should feel and/or show about my feelings.
Truthfully, I'm feeling hurt, alone, angry, empty, not good enough and ashamed. Ashamed? but she broke up with you...ashamed of what? because I reached out to her by text. After the breakup! I just couldn't help myself. I know the rules. Leave her alone! She said and I quote " you believe we are meant to be together, I don't feel the same way. I thought feelings would grow stronger and I have been open to it"...."because I don't want to be in a relationship anymore". When someone tells you these things, it's very clear. The are never going to love you back. Save yourself and move on...right? Well I didn't. Like I mentioned in my last post, I need answers.
I might add that this is the most beautiful and amazing woman on the planet. I absolutely can't post a picture of her here.
Back to story:
After texting with her (and I promise I'll come back to fill in the details of this later). I didn't get any answers. I said a lot of reactionary statements that only led to mean things being said and not helping the situation whatsoever. She was very careful with words meaning that she did not want to tell me anything to give me false hope, letting me know...she's done. Me: I wanted to know if there was someone else. Why wouldn't there be? Aren't relationships like jobs? People get a new one before leaving the old one right? For whom is she leaving me? She hasn't responded yet. I suppose I'll have the answer by the next post.
I should not have sent those texts. What was I wanting? I was wanting her to tell me that she made a mistake, that she didn't mean it, that she changed her mind... she wasn't going to change.